My Best Wishes

My best wishes for the well being of kenodi, without whom I wouldn't be able to undergo kidney transplant.

My best wishes for the care takers of the world, without whom dialysis and medical procedures will be disastrous and unimaginable.
My best wishes for my mother for her sacrifices, never ending sorrows and for being here for me.
My best wishes for cao-cao for your patience, support, determination and thanks for making it happen.

And my best wishes for my donor for having extraordinary strength to undergo this; who chose operation instead of a regular life. You have such a pure heart, and strong and noble.

I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel, therefore
I wish that my next blog will be written by a renewed me :)

Gray Matter

I'm still in the hospital. Transplant is scheduled this Wednesday. I didn't have many tests for the past one week except for dialysis. Tomorrow is a big day. I have my last (fingers crossed) dialysis and a plasma exchange thereafter. After several discussions, meetings and tests, the doctors agreed to give me one session of plasma exchange (PE) as precautionary treatment before kidney transplant. I will start my immunosuppressant drugs tomorrow, to suppress my immune system and thus avoid any rejections.

We had a long meeting with the head surgeon this afternoon and signed the necessary documents. He explained about the surgery. My family joined the meeting as well. After the tiring session, I headed to the dialysis center, while my mom waited at the ward.

After dialysis, as I lay lazily on the bed, I asked my mom to check if I have any gray hair. I'm 31 this year and I always brag that I don't even have a single gray hair. My sister, on the other hand, has lots and she's only 29. My husband started to have lots, even in his facial hair, but me...nope! And I'm actually proud of it; showing off and bragging about my shiny gray-less mane to whomever willing to listen. Well, I guess I can't do it anymore. It was devastating. My mom found a single gray strand today. It was unbelievable. I checked and detested that it was not a gray hair. Actually it doesn't look gray at all, maybe (just maybe) slightly silvery.

Anyways, what the heck! I'm just getting wiser! I'll just brag about it then after this.
Any listeners??

A Hat Story

This is a story of a hat.
My hat.
It all started in Seiyu, a shopping complex located near our apartment. Satya and I were looking for a jacket but ended up trying hats instead. I specifically liked a hat. It was beautiful, chic and cool. But we didn't buy it (though deep inside I wished that I had) as we were supposed to look for a jacket. We didn't get a jacket either.

We went back home and Satya noticed that I really liked the hat. So, he told me to just get it the next day. I couldn't be happier. We went back to the store the very next day only to find the hat, gone. Someone has got it before me and it was the last piece. I was slightly disappointed but got over it soon.

It was all fine and dandy until Satya suggested that the hat may still be available at other Seiyu(s). The devil inside me grew greedily excited and one fine afternoon, after my dialysis session, I googled for nearest Seiyu, found how to get there and headed to the store.

It was a bigger store, so I walked enthusiastically and confidently to the hats department. I found the hat of course, but it was a bigger size. Feeling disappointed and utterly mad for being greedy, I turned around and walked to a nearby escalator and to my astonishment found another hat section!

And there it was. Nicely displayed, teasing me to grab it. I did, and ended up buying it. I wear it most of the time. Rainy, sunny, I wear it everyday. It was there on top of my head all the time; protecting me.

I even wore it during out trip to Yamagata to meet up Satya's friends. I wore it during the barbecue party, at the restaurants, at Keio University and even at a shopping complex. Then I remember putting it inside my bag before going for dinner with friends. When it's time to leave, I noticed that my hat was gone...missing. I panicked and looked everywhere but it was no where to be found. We couldn't stay longer to search, as we were late for our bus. We told our friends to look for it after we have left. They did, but it was never found.

That's the story of my hat. My lost hat. Stranded somewhere in Yamagata; tremendously missed by me :(

Remembering You

What does not kill us makes us stronger.
Friedrich Nietzsche

I was once admitted in the hospital for having excruciating pain on my thumb (reactive arthritis). It was badly swollen, inflamed and the pain was unbearable. It was a Sunday, so I was taken to the emergency department and admitted thereafter. I was warded in a two-bed room; and the patient next to me was a lady in her early thirties.

She looked well and bubbly. I couldn't think that she had any illness at all. We spoke and I told her that I was admitted for my joint pain and elevated ESR. I added that the doctors are yet to find the reasons.

She has lung cancer.
It started with continuous irritating cough for months and after several tests, she was diagnosed with lung cancer. She told me that she never smoked and non of the family members smoked either. She didn't know why she has it. The reason of her admission is to give her a 'port' and to start chemotherapy immediately. I have never seen her sulk even once, during my short stay. She was happy and bubbly as ever.

I got discharged and I met her again at the hospital lobby few weeks later. I noticed her head- scarf (obviously suffering due to the side effects of chemo drugs). She was still smiling and cheerful. She asked me concernedly, if the doctors have diagnosed my illness. I shrugged and said no.

I never saw her again. I will always remember her for her courage and determination. She inspires me in many ways though she didn't know any of this at all. I would like to dedicate this post to her. I wish for your happiness. I hope your sufferings have ended; and may you live a prosperously healthy life ever after.