Young Victoria

Victoria: Why did you do it?
Albert: I had two very good reasons. First, I am replaceable and you are not.
Victoria: You are not replaceable to me.
Albert: Second... you are the only wife I've got or ever will have. You are my whole existence and I will love until my last breath.

I love the movie. I love everything about the film. I love the music. It's magnificent and listening to its soundtrack soothes me. The movie (spoiler alert!) is about Queen Victoria's early reign; how she became the queen and the story emphasizes on her romance/marriage with Prince Albert. The best part is the dialogue above. It was the most emotional moment. I cried during that part. Prince Albert got shot while trying to protect Queen Victoria. They had a fight the night before. Prince Albert said those beautiful words when he was asked why he had protected her. It was overwhelmingly wonderful.

I 'googled' about Queen Victoria immediately after watching the movie and found some interesting facts about her. She reigned as a queen for 63 years and those long period was known as the Victorian Era. She had nine children. After the death of her husband, Prince Albert; she mourned by wearing black for the rest of her life. It was truly magnificent.

Nishiguchi Dialysis Clinic

Satya and I arrived at Tsurumi, Yokohama on 4th of January 2010 and the first place we visited was Nishiguchi Dialysis Clinic. I was greeted by a very kind lady named, Kamba-san. She ushered me to a nearby bed and they started my dialysis right away.

I was terrified in the beginning as I don't speak Japanese and I feared that I would not be able to express myself better. But my fear was wiped away immediately. All the nurses are very kind, and I felt so comfortable and welcomed. My first dialysis at Japan went well and there were no side-effects after.

Nishiguchi dialysis clinic is located within ten minutes walking distance from our apartment. Initially, I only needed twice dialysis sessions per week. But it seemed inadequate as my blood pressure increased and I felt sick. Then, I started having three times dialysis sessions per week and it improved my condition a lot. My blood pressure was controlled and my pulse rate became normal. I couldn't feel happier.

The nurses are all very friendly and they kept a translated medical book (Japanese to English) to ask me bout my medical conditions. Kamba-san usually recommends interesting places to visit in Japan and we managed to visit many beautiful places because of her.

The patients don't converse during dialysis sessions. However we greet each other at the beginning or end of our dialysis sessions. I specifically like the patients at my left and opposite bed. They always greet me kindly and wish me well. The oba-san opposite my bed greets me in English while I reply her in Japanese language. She is a very cool lady. I like her a lot! If only my Japanese language was better, I would have made tremendous effort to get to know her better.

My dialysis sessions are on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings. I usually watch TV during my dialysis sessions and I specifically got interested in Korean dramas; which are aired every morning on weekdays. Spring Waltz was my favourite! Kamba-san and another wonderful nurse, named Chie Ito-san loved it too. Chie-san is a very kind, humble and dedicated nurse. She speaks good English and communicating with her is fun. I really can't thank her enough and she taught me a lot about Japanese culture/celebration.

Yesterday was my last dialysis session in Nishiguchi Dialysis Clinic. I was admitted in Toho University Hospital yesterday afternoon and I will continue a few more dialysis sessions here before my transplant. I am not sure if I would be able to meet the wonderful staff and the patients again but I would like to dedicate this post to them and I would like to thank them for their kindness and hospitality.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH NISHIGUCHI STAFF. LOVE YOU ALL :)

Walking Down The Memory Lane

I grew up as a happy kid with a loving family. I consider myself as the luckiest person on earth, being provided everything I wish for. I graduated and then started working in Kuala Lumpur sometime in 2003. My now husband, Satya (my university sweetheart then) left for japan to continue his studies. Our long distance relationship went well and I continued my life independently.

We decided to get married in 2007 but that is when I started having fevers and joint inflammations. I started having inflammations at different joints every week (knee, thumb,toe). I was suspected to have reactive arthritis and therefore prescribed NSAIDs to ease the pain. Blood tests were done almost every week and the results were negative for major autoimmune diseases. It was quite frustrating to have all kinds of pain while not being able to identify the cause.

In March 2007, my renal profile was checked and the doctors (I had 2 doctors) noticed an increase in the creatinine level (195umol/L). The kidneys maintain the blood creatinine at a normal range (53-88umol/L). High creatinine levels indicate possible failure of the kidneys. The doctor recommend a kidney biopsy to be done immediately. I was therefore referred to a nephrologist. I had no idea on the seriousness of my health condition then, because I looked totally healthy. Besides, the nephrologist seemed relaxed and scheduled me for a biopsy after one week. We were not convinced, therefore we consulted another nephrologist and he performed the kidney biopsy the very next day. Satya returned from Japan and we continued our wedding plan. Then one fine evening, my nephrologist called and told me that he has bad news. My biopsy results returned. My kidney tissues are globally scarred and that means I have chronic kidney disease.

I was totally shocked and devastated as chronic kidney disease is irreversible. When kidney disease progresses, it may eventually lead to kidney failure, which requires dialysis or kidney transplant to maintain life. I was admitted on the very same day and was given steroids to stop further damage to the kidneys. As of end of April 2007, my creatinine was 388umol/L. I was hospitalized for three days and Satya was beside me all the time. We were told that female kidney patients are not recommended to conceive and I must follow a very strict diet (low fluids, low protein, low phosphate, low potassium and low salt). I silently thought that wedding is out of the question.

Then one day, Satya came to visit me looking dashing, wearing a formal shirt which is most inappropriate for visiting someone on a sick bed. He took my hand, and brought me to the hospital's chapel. As we walked, I noticed the nurses giggling and I knew what was coming. Blood rushed to my face and as we enter, a nurse was recording 'the event' using Satya's camcorder. I grew excited, shocked and surprised! He told me to sit and he took out a violin from its hidden place and started fiddling my ultimate favourite music. I was overwhelmed, I cried. He knew that I love violin. He had been learning all the while and kept it a secret! Then he proposed. It seems that he got the ring a year back! It was beautiful!

I was discharged and we got married after 3 weeks! It was a simple, but beautiful wedding. I was terribly weak due to the side effects of the steroids, yet it didn't stop me from being happy. Steroids side effects include vision problems, shortness of breath, high blood pressure, mood swings, sleeping disorders, acne, thinning skin, bruising, slow wound healing, increased sweating, headache, nausea and moon face syndrome.

Satya extended his leave and moved with me to Kuala Lumpur. I canceled my leave and went back to work. Those were the happiest moment. We enjoy going shopping, practicing yoga and watching movie together.

Everything was going well till one night, I had the most disastrous stomachache. I vomited a few times and thought it was food poisoning. We rushed to the emergency department and I was confirmed to have appendicitis. I was admitted in the morning and was only operated at night. Imagine the pain I went through the whole day. The appendix was perforated but I was OK.

Then in August 2007, the doctor gave us another bad news. We learned that the steroids did not work and my kidneys continued to fail at an alarming rate. Reasons still unknown :(

Satya couldn't extend his leave any longer, therefore returned to Japan. That was the saddest moment. We were so happy together. I couldn't follow him as I needed weekly hospital treatment.

Then 2008 came, I took medical leave and stayed with my parents temporarily in Ipoh. In early October 2008, I was breathless and had excruciating pain on my lower left chest. We rushed to the hospital and I was admitted for pneumonia. The doctor advised that I start dialysis soon. I was devastated again. I hoped to have a kidney transplant without being on dialysis ever. My mom was so kind that she was willing to donate her kidney. But the progress (tests for transplantation) was very slow. I had no options but to start dialysis. There I was in the hospital, started my very first dialysis a day before my 29th birthday!

I quit my job and started my dialysis. My mother took care of me as dialysis was disastrous for me. I always end up having headache and sometimes vomiting. It took me a very very long time to adapt to dialysis.

Satya returned in February 2009 and in March 2009 I had increased pulse rate and my blood pressure was very high. I was referred to a heart specialist and an ECG confirmed that I have heart failure but it was reversible. Thank goodness! My blood pressure and hemoglobin was monitored.

Then, in December 2009, Satya got a job in Japan and he were to leave on January 2010. In the meantime, we received shocking news (after 2 years of multiple tests) that my mother's kidney would not match. It was a hopeless moment as it meant dialysis for the rest of my life. That's when my husband's friend, Dr Nozumo Yachie (an angel in disguise) suggested that i get treatment in Japan. He referred me to a family doctor and thus was introduced to Dr.Ken Sakai (another angel in disguise). We didn't expect this at all. After some last minute arrangements, we finally flew to Japan together.

I received my dialysis treatment at Nishiguchi Dialysis Clinic, nearby our apartment. In the meantime, I visited Dr Ken Sakai's clinic at Toho University Hospital every month, preparing for kidney transplant. A few 'angels' offered to donate their kidneys and finally we found a match!

In May 2010, I was admitted in Toho University Hospital for two weeks and several tests were done preparing me for the transplant. The operation was finally scheduled in July 2010. Now I am awaiting for the transplant procedure.

That gives me hope :)
If the transplant is successful, I can resume a normal (well maybe almost) life while following a strict medical regime. There are no greater things for me to ask. I am tremendously grateful to my donor, thankful to the doctors and thankful for this great opportunity I was given. Let's just hope for the best as my journey continues...

Cooking Delights

The single thing I dread the most is cooking! It requires patience, skills, exceptionally functioning tongue to taste the food and also tolerance(well maybe this is for those who eat the food I prepare). My husband is a foodie and it takes quite a deal to satisfy his great, demanding tummy.
I have never cooked my whole life, therefore I often become the victim of my sisters' jokes which include remarks that I don't even know how to cut onions. Well, both of my sisters can cook well. My elder sister can even prepare excellent dishes for our Christmas feast and that's saying something as we usually have many friends and relatives visiting us for Christmas.
I have food restrictions and I'm on a special diet because of my sickness. That means eating out is usually out of the question and we need to eat balanced, home cooked food most of the time. My husband is an excellent cook and he usually prepares his 'sambal ayam' some weekends whereas I diligently took the honor to do the cooking during weekdays. I started slowly, experimenting(with occasional guidance from my mom and the web) and it turned out to be OK! I can cook and my husband actually enjoys them(maybe most of the time).
I have cooked dishes I have never dreamed of preparing such as nasi lemak, azuki porridge, salmon curry (my very own creation), roasted chicken, grilled salmon and pepper chicken (my mom's ultimate creation). I even managed to bake a chocolate cake and surprised my husband for his birthday!
I wouldn't say that I'm great but I am OK. In fact I actually enjoy doing it these days. Well, anything is possible and it just takes a little effort to start and get going. There is always room for improvement.
Now, if you will excuse me...I have a salmon curry to prepare :)

Michael Gambon's Dumbledore

J.K Rowling's Harry Potter books have definitely been our favourite to date. My husband and I always discuss about the story and we aspire (or maybe simply day-dream) to be associated with the wizarding world. Imagine having your own wand and being able to perform magic with it!....wow....
OK! Imaginations aside...
We were watching the Harry Potter movie series (again!) the other day and I can't help noticing the acting of Michael Gambon's Dumbledore. Dumbledore being our favourite character and being one of the most powerful wizards of all time should have been portrayed as powerful, fatherly, protective or simply dumbledore-ish!
I personally think that Richard Harris (RIP) played the part very well in the first two films. But as for Michael Gambon ...hmmm...whenever I watch him as Dumbledore, I can't help complaining to my husband that he's too weak. He seemed not to 'know' Dumbledore and I suspected that he has never read the books; therefore failing to portray the character well.
I was right! We were watching the news about Universal Orlando's Harry Potter theme park yesterday in which came one of the interviews with Michael Gambon saying that he has not read the books. How disappointing!(not forgetting the smugness on my face and continuously irritating my husband by saying 'I told you so!')
Well, no point arguing now as they have completed the filming of the last movie. Let's just keep our fingers crossed and hope that the movie will be as good as the book.

Spring Cleaning

My mother and my sister will be visiting us next week. Me and my husband are currently residing in Tsurumi, Yokohama. We came here in January and I didn't get to see my parents for almost 6 months! I studied in Johor Bahru, Malaysia and my home town is Ipoh. Even then, I always visit them once a month. I also make it a ritual to go back home twice a month when I was working in Kuala Lumpur.

Now I get to see them after 6 months, it's time to get busy. I started cleaning our apartment. "But it's already clean...what is there to clean?" I ignored my husband's comment and started dusting off all the stuff, wiped them clean, vacuumed the tatami, mopped it and vacuumed again. Then I started cleaning the kitchen.

This is supposed to be the rainy season (tsuyu) in Japan, but it's quite hot and it rarely rains. I grabbed this opportunity to do extra laundry. I washed the mat, towels and the bed spread. Then i started cleaning the bathroom. By the time i finished it, i could barely stand. My back ached so much. My husband offered to help and we both finished cleaning.

Our apartment looked sparkly clean; putting a big smile on my face. I was still excited; therefore unable to sleep or even rest. I suggested that we go shopping and my wonderful husband agreed right away!

We headed to the Yokohama station, strolled along and my eyes caught a nice pair of sandals. I have big feet and it's usually very hard to get shoes my size in Japan. But not today! They have my size, it fitted well and I get to buy it at last! We ate kebab later that night and went back home feeling extremely happy.

Hajimemashite!

Greetings!
I have been procrastinating this for a very long time now.
I always wanted to start my own blog, my very own space where I can write and share to the world about all the wonderful things that had happened in my life; and here I am victorious at last!
I always had this habit of jotting down every single thing in a piece of paper whenever I am down spirited. That is how I have always been. Without doubt, it helps me to think of the problem, solve it independently and move on.
With this blog, I hope I can tell you my life adventures, all the nicest and also the hardest endeavors, my struggle and battle for a better health, all the wonderful people I am surrounded with and also my thoughts on various issues.
And so, it begins...